Living with Molly: Here We Go Again!

🎵 Missing – Everything But The Girl (Todd Terry Remix) ❤️ (https://youtu.be/IAkY5m00rpY?si=GRocA5BeYMW6w2qh)

I was gonna go with Missing You – Puff Daddy & Faith Evans for the tune, but given everything we know now about P Diddy that had to be changed 🫣

*Before we start, just to confirm in advance: this post is not about me missing my boob or the tumour – I’m actually grateful and glad both have gone as they were intertwined!!*

It’s hard to think that this time last week I was just coming out of the theatre (the Wythenshawe surgery one, not the Manchester Palace one)

A week later and I’ve only left the house once, which was yesterday to go back to the hospital and have the drain and dressing removed.

Meanwhile the rest of you lot have been here, there and everywhere, getting on with life and probably taking all that freedom completely for granted.
Jealous moi? Absolutely 🫣 but at least I’ve had the sunshine!

I’m definitely missing the simple things in life, like being able to get ready without pain or awkwardness, and being able to leave the house, get in the car and just go wherever I fancy. It’s funny the things you take for granted until they’re temporarily taken away.

I’m missing people too, the random chats, the conversations that make me think, the ones that make me laugh, and occasionally the ones that make me go “WTF Really?!” 🤭

In fact, I was messaging someone earlier and realised I keep asking the same thing: “How’s work? What’s going on? How are you?” – it’s not because I’m bored of being at home (well maybe a little bit 😂), but really it’s because I’m missing normality. And yes I know it’s only been a week and I need to be patient and give myself time to recover both physically and mentally!

I’m sat here in bed writing these latest blog ramblings and whilst it’s lovely not having the drain attached anymore, I keep still thinking it’s there, and I’ve realised how much I blamed it for slowing me down. Now it’s gone, I’m almost more paranoid because at least when it was there it felt like a constant reminder to be careful.

Now I find myself worrying about stretching too far, lifting something I shouldn’t, or putting strain on the surgery site (and yes I know I absolutely should not have been trying to put all the outdoor cushions away by myself last night!)

It’s funny how your brain works, one minute you’re desperate to get rid of something, or you want something you can’t have and the next minute you get said thing and you want the opposite. Does that make sense? I mean who knows at this point, at least I can blame the medication 😂

Yesterday afternoon the drain and pump finally came out and much as I really do appreciate the important role they played in my recovery, things I definitely won’t miss about them are:

• Getting my wires crossed. Literally.

• The tugging pain every time I moved that hurt and made me feel slightly sick.

• Monitoring and emptying a bag of blood every morning.

• Working out where to put the bag so neither me nor the dog sat on it.

• Hanging it from the shower or placing it on the bathroom windowsill while I washed, and hoping for the best that it wouldn’t drop or get soaked!

• Accidentally forgetting I was attached to it and trying to walk off without it (that searing pain again when I did that 😩)

• Sleeping in exactly the same position every night like a dead Victorian woman, flat on my back and arms by my side!

• The mild panic every time the tubing caught on something.

And finally, that absolutely awful feeling when they pull the drain out which if you’ve ever had one, you’ll know you just have to deep breath through it!

Still, despite all the moaning about what I won’t miss, it feels like another little milestone, one week on, one less tube and thing attached and one small step closer to normality and right now, normal sounds absolutely bloody wonderful ❤️

… and I do miss you all

Sam x

ps how cute is this bee hanging in my window?!